Sponge bath it is.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
