If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You dont lie about slip and slides
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
