my mouth tastes like poor choices
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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