Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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