honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
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