And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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