She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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