i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
