But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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