I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize