My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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