i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
