It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
