So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize