singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
