I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
