Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize