My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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