I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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