ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize