He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
