that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
