More tranny stories later!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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