So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize