Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
