I am in a vortex of obligation.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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