I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
