He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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