I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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