I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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