we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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