I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
