i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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