I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
