Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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