worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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