I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
