using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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