someone get that fucking seahorse.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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