evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
