sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
