Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
