They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
