Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize