Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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