my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
