can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
