I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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