I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
