U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
