yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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