just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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