I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
