Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
