i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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