Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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