she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
