I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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