I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
