the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
