My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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