you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
