wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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