so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
