If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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