Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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